Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own.
But one thing I do:
But one thing I do:
forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on
toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
(Philippians 3:13-14 ESV)
Since John Piper`s session at the Passion 2010 conference, a little over a year ago, I have been asking God, "What is your Holy Ambition for my life? What is it you want for me to do? Where is it you want me to go?" It has been over a year, and the question hasn`t lightened. The question still weighs heavy on my heart and pushes me to pursue Christ every day, even in my sin and depravity.
In the past month Jesus has been trying to make me more like himself more than I think He ever has before. I have never suffered for my faith like I have in the past month. I have never seen and had to deal with so much sin in my life like I have in the past month. I have never heard Jesus telling me, like Paul said, "Die, die today. Die everyday."(1 Corinthians 15:31) I have never been persecuted like am now. I have never had such a burning, passionate, eternal burden for the lost. The lost of the entire world. Unreached people groups. The 10°40° window. My Family. My friends. My professors. My neighbors. International students. Every lost soul on this earth.
Not only is Jesus beckoning me through his whispers to me and through the word, but through everything. Last sunday our pastor spoke on suffering as a servant from the life of David. Our sunday school class, Tapestry, was also about suffering...only by the sovereignty of God. Yesterday morning the sermon was about loving our enemies from the life of David. Specifically how our love for God, chasing after him even in suffering, allows us to be a witness even when we are constantly under attack and suffering persecution. How David`s response to persecution either prevented growth or furthered the kingdom of God here on earth.
Friday when I read through Ephesians chapter 1, something stuck out that never had before. To the praise of his glorious grace (v6). To the praise of his glory (v12). To the praise of his glory (v14). The whole purpose of my life is knowing Christ, not for my sake, but that he might be glorified. To the praise of his glory, his grace. This is my one thing. This is my Holy Ambition. Sharing Christ with every single person I come across, that God may be glorified in this life.
Father God I praise you for suffering. I praise you for making me suffer so that I could learn and realize the one and only importance of knowing you. This life is not about my growth, my comfort, my needs, my wants, it is all about YOU. Putting you on display as supremely valuable! (Piper) I am desperate for you. I am so, so lost without you. Every minute of suffering, every hour of persecution, Lord it is worth it, to the praise of your glory. I will die, and make much of you. You are the at the bottom of my joy. You are the fountain of my life, all my passions, desires, and dreams come from you.
For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.
2 Corinthians 5:14-15
Father, I desire that they also, whom you have given me, may be with me where I am, to see my glory that you have given me because you loved me before the foundation of the world.
My soul longs, yes, faints
for the courts of the LORD;
my heart and flesh sing for joy
to the living God.
There is none like you among the gods, O Lord,
nor are there any works like yours.
All the nations you have made shall come
and worship before you, O Lord,
and shall glorify your name.
For you are great and do wondrous things;
you alone are God.
“All my springs are in you.”
But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.