Lord today I don`t believe that you are enough. I struggle to believe that you are more than enough for all of me. I struggle to believe that you are enough for my struggles, my doubts, my circumstances, my losses, my failures, my pain, and my selfish thoughts. I struggle to believe that you are enough for my sin. I struggle to believe that you are enough for forgiveness. I struggle to believe that you are even here now. That you are even present in this mess.
I cannot see you. The world is clouding you away with its whispers and lies, with its busyness and stress.
I cannot feel you. The presence of your voice and your comfort seem completely absent. Like another world in itself.
But this book in front of me tells me that you are here. It tells me that you are enough. That you are MORE than enough for ALL of me. This book tells me you are visible. That your work exist in the love of those around you and the handiwork of the skies and the sunset today. This book tells me you are touchable. That your presence exist among the soft words of people encouraging me. That your comfort is in their hugs and kisses.
Lord today I don`t believe that you are enough. I struggle with these words in front of me. I can`t find myself in you today. Yet this mystery beckons me closer, deeper, more into finding who you are... finding out how you are enough. And I am lost... I am lost in need for you. I am desperately in need of you.
Lord find me again. Lord I want to know who you are anew. Take all of these fears.
AWAKE! Why are you sleeping, O Lord? Rouse yourself! Do not reject me forever. Why do you hide your face from me? Why do you froget my oppression and affliction? My soul is bowed down to the dust and my belly clings to the ground. Rise up. Come to my help! Redeem me for the sake of your steadfast love.