Mountains and Deserts

            Be patient through seasons of life is so frustrating sometimes. Lately doubts and worries about what I am doing with my life have arisen, and still exist. It seems some seasons I know exactly where I am, what I am doing, and how evident that call on my life is. But then I step into a new season, where I doubt, I worry, I fear. I am blind to what God is doing and why He is doing it.
           The latter is a season of desert living. I look, I seek, but there is nothing but vast desert before me. Everything is weary, hot, dry, and humid. There seems to be no sustenance. No satisfaction. I don’t think I will ever like deserts.
            When I stand atop a mountain with the Lord I feel like everything is in control. But still I don’t realize there is SO much I cannot see. So many distant things I cannot make out or even try to understand.
            Even today. I woke up this morning so full of energy and joy. I spent precious and blessed time in the word. And this was the verse God gave me… “wait for the precious fruit, and be patient over it, until the early and late rains come.” (James 5:7)
            I was incredibly at peace about my life in that moment. I realized the Lord had given me that verse in reference to my life. Lesley wait for the precious fruit, be patient over it, some early rain may come, but later rain is still necessary. Sustenance is what keeps this fruit alive in me! And yet even as I came to complete peace and rest in the sovereignty of my God, this afternoon my heart began weighing heavy for a dear friend who is experiencing desert life. I want so badly to see God pick her up and place her on steady mountain ground. But reality tells me He hasn’t yet. Faith tells me I have to trust that He is in control of her life, just like He is mine. But my flesh doesn’t want to trust, doesn’t want to wait, and doesn’t want to be patient over the fruit in her life.
            I can fight. But it is useless. God is sovereign. He is in control, whether I recognize it or not. And so submission is the only response.
            Lord God give me the patience to trust and wait on you for rain. For fruit to be bared. I know that I know that I know you are truth, you are righteousness, you are life, and you are satisfaction. But I’m doubting. Lord God give me your eyes, to see the rivers of life you are providing in this desert.

“Remember not the former things, nor consider the ways of old. 
Behold I am doing a new thing. It is springing forth. Do you not see it?
I am making a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert!”
Isaiah 43:18-19

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