What do you want to be known for?

               It has been exactly a year since I decided to make some major life changes for good. I was struggling, I was lost, I was afraid, I was depressed-I was feeling worthless and ashamed. Most importantly I was not where I wanted to be with God, and that had to change. So in February of 2013 I said goodbye to the love of my life, I dropped out of school completely, and I moved home. Maybe it was a bad decision, maybe it was the wrong decision. I will never know completely. What I do know is that in that time alone I finally connected with my God again. Loneliness is a scary and isolated place and yet God seems to continuously use loneliness in my life to redirect my heart back to His. Oh thank you Lord for grace... and that your mercies are new every morning.

               In a few short years and at such a young age I have lost so much and many times lost complete sight of having any future at all. Yet God has held me tight the whole time and has captured my heart once again. What the future holds- I still have no idea- but what I know now is that whatever it is, it is not my plan- it is his. So I will not fear and I will not fight. I will submit and I will learn how to love Him more. 

               I haven`t blogged in so long I am afraid this blog may turn into a giant page of word vomit and not make any sense... but if anything makes sense at all... it is that life is short and we never know how many days or what future we may have.

               And so I am claiming today, in my heart, that I want to be known for being a woman of God. I want to be known for following Jesus and revealing and sharing Him in everything I do. So what does that mean-what does that look like. What are the qualities and the attributes I pray I will have and the world will see-not for my benefit- but for the glory and honor of Christ. I believe most of these are summed up well in Proverbs 31. Please read through this list of character traits and qualities with me...

She will truly have His heart and His eyes to see sons and daughters when she looks at His people.

She will be a doer of the word and not a hearer only.

She will refuse to judge and condemn and do her best to love people back to wholeness.

She will be a fountain of mercy and grace and one who will breathe life back into dry bones.

She will know that it is the love of God that breaks every yoke.

She will be a living epistle of love and humility and will demonstrate the scriptures with kindness and gentleness and compassion.  

She will give credit where credit is due.

She will point others to Him. She will give Him all the glory. All of the honor. All of the credit.

She will reach to the back row and encourage and minister to the hearts of the women who can't get past the grief and sorrow of their own life. 

She will look past circumstances and situations and appearances that look different than her own to see daughters of the living God who have yet to discover their worth.

She is looking for opportunities to be a blessing-instead of looking for her own opportunities.

She knows that "humility isn't thinking less of yourself but it is thinking of yourself less."

Graciousness is her hallmark. 

Gratitude is her beauty treatment.

She is a woman of her word.

She is a worshipper. In spirit and in truth.

She is a prayer warrior and holds trust from others as sacred. 

She is supportive of others and is not an opportunist.

She is fully aware of her own shortcomings and seeks Him daily for His love and guidance.

She recognizes hopelessness and worthlessness in others and speaks life.

She is an excellent listener. She listens with her head and her heart. She hears what is not being said.

She is a lifter. An encourager. A hope giver. 

She forgives-fully. 

She knows that the same grace that was made available to her-is also available to everyone else.

She does not gossip. She does not constantly brag or boast. 

She speaks blessing.

She sees the best. Believes the best. Hopes the best.

She places a high value on God's people.

She invests in the greatest investment in the world. His people.

She is known for what she stands for.

           I pray in this moment, over these words, that they won`t just be another list or boxes to check off. But that these words, His words, will be the life to my soul and the light to my path. I pray the decisions I make daily and the way I spend my time will reflect the desire He has placed in me to love Him more- only because He first loved me. In all I do may it be unto the Lord- for He has gone before me and paid the debt for my sin and failures-for He has loved me with an everlasting love and forgiven me from the depths of my heart. 

Lord I love you and I thank you... Make me a woman of your word.