You provide

            How do we begin to understand what it means that our God is the God who provides? Last night our international group met to discuss the revelation of Jehovah Jireh through the story of Abraham sacrificing Isaac. It is a story I am familiar with and have studied in several different ways, but last night I saw it in a new light for the first time in a long time. God has a way of revealing himself new through old truths and speaking directly into my struggles and circumstances.

            We concluded through Abraham`s story that God provides for our needs in relation to our faith. This doesn’t give us credit or fame, rather it makes us realize how much we truly need him and that our faith is a direct reflection of that need and desire.

            Abraham had failed so many times to trust and obey the God who earnestly and relentlessly was pursuing his wandering heart. I can identify with that.

            What would it take for Abraham to realize where his heart was
and where God was calling it to be?

            First it took a big mistake, well the unfolding of several big mistakes. Second it took the sight to remove his blindness that God was still present and still pursing him in forgiveness and redemption. Third it took the return of the desire for him to whole-heartedly pursue the Lord and to know his heart. Abraham moved from a place of brokenness and hurt to a place of wholehearted forgiveness and unwavering trust. He never would have trusted God through sacrificing Isaac without what he had already been through with God. He chose: he chose love, belief, faith, worship, and obedience. He chose to let go of his past mistakes and hurt and to let God truly heal his faithlessness.

                        Return, O faithless one,
                        I will heal your faithlessness.
                                                            Jeremiah 3:22

            What would it take for me to realize where my heart is and where God is calling it to be? 

           Often it takes big mistakes and days of hurt and grief before my heart is moved to wake up and realize who my God is and what is speaking to me. My depression, pain, and loneliness brings me to the place of silence and rest where I can finally hear His words and feel His presence.
            Then I am still left with a choice.

            Will I chose to let go of the guilt, shame, and failure, in order to see grace, obedience, trust, and worship? Am I willing to sacrifice my “Isaac” in order to trust and obey my God? Am I willing to lay down the very things I love the most in order to praise him?

            He heals the brokenhearted
                        and binds up their wounds.
                                                Psalm 147:3

            Lord, keep me broken. Keep me on my knees. Keep me desperate. So that I never forget you, that I never forsake you, that I never neglect you. Help me trust, that as I trust and obey you will provide exactly what I need, even when it doesn`t match what I may think that I need.

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