I know whom I have believed

Jesus I know that I am weary. I know that I am worn. 

But I know I look to you and again my flesh is torn.

I am made alive in you. I am made anew with strength.

Fighting this fight some days seams so pointless, seems so hopeless. I can`t change their minds, I can`t set them free. I am struggling with the thought of surrendering and giving them to you. I am tired of fighting for them. I am tired of praying. I am tired of crying. I am tired of watching the battle be lost. I am tired of running this race. But I know that you are calling me to surrender. You are beckoning me to rest in you and give you these burdens. You are asking me to trust and wait on your timing. Lord even as it physically tears at my heart, I believe you. Even as I know this suffering won`t stop here, I trust you. God give me more grace so that I can stand firm and walk in you, so I can lay aside the burdens and fears that are keeping me down, and run this race in you! I am giving them to you...I am trusting you with them.

"It is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell. I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account."

(Philippians 1:20-24 ESV)

"...which is why I suffer as I do. But I am not ashamed, for I know whom I have believed, and I am convinced that he is able to guard until that Day what has been entrusted to me. Follow the pattern of the sound words that you have heard from me, in the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. By the Holy Spirit who dwells within us, guard the good deposit entrusted to you."

(2 Timothy 1:12-14 ESV)

Jesus I will fight with you for them. I will fight for their souls. I will pray and cry and plead for their salvation all the day. Thank you for Paul`s words which speak directly from the mouth of my heart. It is my eager expectation and HOPE. I will not be ashamed. I am not ashamed. I know whom I have believed. I trust. To live is CHRIST. Death is gain. Fruitful labor. Hold fast the sound words. In faith, in love, in Christ JESUS. Holy Spirit guard the deposit. I trust you. I am waiting for you. You`ll come. 

I know whom I have believed. I am not ashamed. I will trust.