Comfort and Peace

When darkness falls at evening time
And all the world is still
My heart feels restless, oh my God
It longs to be filled

Oh Father rescue me from doubt
Deliver me from grief
Let your joy in me abound
Remove my unbelief, remove my unbelief

I hear the wind rush through the trees
A peaceful whistling sound
But still my soul is not at ease
And sleep cannot be found

You are stillness, you are quiet
You are comfort and peace

            Tonight is one of those nights where I am desperately longing to be with Jesus. I am tired and weary of this world and all the pain and hurt it brings. Yet I know that His plan is perfect and His word and His presence will sustain me to the end.

            Many believe that depression is a disease of pride; one where you cannot stop focusing on yourself, your situation, your life, your insecurities, your fears, your failures, etc. And I have seen this to be very true. Yet depression is also a disease. It comes when you least expect and the cloud of darkness covers your mind without warning. And so it requires treatment as any disease would. I have found that to be medication, counseling, eating right, exercising, and more. It is a different concoction for every person like any disease. With treatment there is also the fight; the fight to remain steadfast and faithful to do what you are told to do and even more there is a spiritual fight, a battle.

            In my strongest moments of pride I feel invincible. As if nothing could ever touch me or shake me. I can handle everything that the world throws at me and I don’t need anyone’s help or support to do it. Yes in my weakest moments of pride I hate this person who ever believed she could do it all on her own.

            From the Life way study by Beth Moore entitled Living Free she shares these three points:

1.     We need to change the way we view pride
2.     We need to change the way we view humility
3.     We need to humble ourselves before God

            Do you know that scripture says that God hates pride? “I hate pride and arrogance.” “When pride comes then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.” “Pride only breed quarrels but wisdom is found in those who take advice.” “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” (Proverbs 8:13, 11:2, 13:10, 16:18)

            Do you know how God views the humble? He gives them grace and he lives with them. God holds the humble in high esteem! (Prov 3:34, Is 57:!5, Is 66:2)

            If you are a believer and you think you are and can do it all on your own then you are sadly mistaken. You are missing out on the beauty of the Gospel and the satisfaction of God’s presence with you daily. And in the end your pride will lead you to fall, to destruction.

            Yet God promises “Those who walk in pride I am able to humble.” (Daniel 4:37). This promise is that if you chose to ignore him and do it all on your own-he still has the power and the relentless love to humble you himself.

            For me this has looked like losing a friend, ending a relationship, dropping out of school, finding myself sick in a bed in Africa not knowing if I would ever get better. God has used situations in the last four years to drastically humble me, because in my pride I would not choose to humble myself. And I have come to believe that depression in my thorn in the flesh. As Paul writes “So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord, that is should leave me. But he said ‘My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness.’” Many people know this last verse but have no idea what it is speaking to. The Lord was directly answering Paul`s plea to remove his thorn. I constantly find myself crying out to the Lord to remove my battles rather than to ask him for HIS grace and power to sustain me through them.

            It can be so hard, this life. And yet it is there in the hard where God finds us and reveals himself most beautifully. The scripture that are written on my heart today are the ones that brought me through the fires of my past battles.

            He truly is comfort and peace. The only that I have found in this lfie.

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