"means being an instrument of healing in a hurting world"

I neglected blogging in so many ways since starting school, and writing in general. Now I have to work through so much information to express through words how incredible my first three weeks of nursing school has been. I know this is what I was created to be, for so many reasons. I have been tested, tried, weary, exhausted, overjoyed, challenged, taught, and so much more.

            Before I went to Zambia, my sweet roommate sent me a verse that become my focus verse while I was serving with Cure International: “When the crowds learned it, they followed him, and he welcomed them and spoke to them of the kingdom of God and cured those who had need of healing.” Luke 9:11 What a picture that verse was first of the ministry and cause of Jesus Christ and second the ministry and cause of Cure International and third what I hope, one day, will be my ministry and cause in this broken world. The reason I love supporting and serving Cure is because I see what they are doing as exactly what Jesus would be doing, exactly. Yes they are imperfect and make mistakes, but they are striving in every way and with all their passion to be the hands and feet of Jesus in a broken and pain filled world.

            I really had no idea what to expect about nursing school except all the horror stories I had heard about how evil the professors are and how so many of the girls had already failed out of the program once. And most intimidating to me that I am one of 6 students taking any credits outside of the nursing classes. I know the next two years are going to be very difficult and exhausting. But I already know this is where I am meant to be and the Lord will fulfill his purpose for me! (Psalm 138:8)

            In the first three weeks the content we have covered and the beauty I see in the nurses around me have already blown me away. I am also convinced the author of our 5 textbooks and online material (that we spend hours upon hours reading and studying each day) is a Christian. She often quotes C.S. Lewis and other faith leaders as well as gives such a holistic and godly perspective of what it means to be a nurse: through the struggles and the joys. These are some of the incredible points she made in last weeks` reading:

            “As a nurse we would like to ‘fix’ everything. Though we can’t ‘fix’ the holes that are left when a person suffers a loss, we an be open and sensitive to his heart’s cry.”

           

            “Choosing nursing as a profession means choosing to be an instrument of healing in a hurting world.”

            “It means cultivating healing presence by listening, being attentive, being aware of your own gifts and limitations of communication, being willing to learn from those in your care, recognizing and respecting others` ways of coping, and enjoying others for who they are.”

            “You will face many uncertainties and dilemmas. You will face new experiences and challenges, situations you thought you would never have to deal with. You will observe pain, suffering, and death. You my never understand the apparent unfairness of it all. But often life brings new meaning when it takes a different direction from the one planned. For example, a teen whose spinal cord was severed in a motor vehicle accident begins to speak at high schools about the dangers of drinking and driving. Or a couple embittered over their third miscarriage finds joy in adopting two children with disabilities. You will be privileged to see many joys, even triumphs. As you move from novice to expert, you may find that such witnessing causes you to stop questioning life’s uncertainties and instead to start treasuring them.”

            We began the semester discussing what nursing means not only who they are but also what they do beyond the medical point of view. We discussed Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and how important it is to meet people’s basic needs before they can reach any higher level of thinking and decision-making. I also see this concept through the work of Cure International. They set out to heal people physically, so that God can begin to heal them spiritually. It is also so evident that God allows people to suffer physically to move them to purse him and be comforted by him. Everything about what we are learning and talking about applies to Jesus and the methods and means by which he calls us to love and serve others, especially the hurting, broken, and destitute. It pushes me to keep studying, keep learning, keep excelling. So the Lord can use those means in my life to reach the hurting and broken world around me.

            And yet there have been many struggles. It has been so difficult to manage my time between hours of classes, hours of studying, ministry involvement, a relationship, friendships, church community, family, and time to relax and be with the Lord. Last week at 5:30 one morning Jesus gave me this verse: “I am weary, O God; I am weary, O God, and worn out.” Proverbs 30:1 Man did those words ring true. I was so tired from so much work, so much information going in to my brain, so many relational struggles, time constraints, bad health, and lack of sleep. And yet in the following verse he says, “Every word of God proves true;

he is a shield to those who take refuge in him.” Proverbs 30:5 My mind began to filter through all the promises he has given me: “I will help you fight this battle, the Spirit will fight for you. I will give you rest. Cast your burdens on my. I will give you the words to speak, you need only to be still.” His comfort came over me in such a wave of peace and stillness. And he has continued to bring me that every morning, to help me get through all the chaos and struggles. It has been especially hard for those around me to understand that my social life has gone away completely. And it has been especially hard for me to learn to say no to hanging out with my incredible roommates, my encouraging and wonderful boyfriend, my cousins, my lost friends, and even classmates in order to study and sleep. And I know that will be the continuous struggle for the next two years. Yet I know that the Lord has been, is, and will be faithful in that struggle to me and to those that are struggling alongside of me.

            Even through the struggles I am so incredibly excited for all that God has lain out before me and especially beyond nursing school. I am filled with incredible joy in knowing this is how he intended me to serve and fulfill his purpose in my life by sharing the Gospel through bringing healing to the hurting. He is for me. He is for the dreams and passions he has placed in my life, and I know He will help me pursue them and allow them to become reality. 

"yet at the scent of water it will bud
   and put out branches like a young plant" Job 14:9

            What a beautiful thing it is that we are able to serve him, though he doesn`t need us, he chooses to use us.