Relentless

Song of Solomon 8:6-7

The idea of God being relentless is one that often captures my thoughts. How can this God who sees my darkest secrets and my judgmental thoughts love me in a way that is relentless?

As if by loving me he can push away all the junk and disgust in my heart. But if he were a God who truly loved completely he could not be anything but relentless. He couldn`t love us only partly, or love our good and ignore our junk. He couldn`t love us on our best days and forget us on our worst. For him to love us truly-he must love it all. Many say this same thing in their marriage vows: for better or for worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and health. And that is why them marriage that lasts- not simply survives- but lasts is one that shines so brightly the love of Christ. He loves us at our best. He doesn`t love us any less at our worst.

Starting a new job recently has brought so much good and still a lot of hard. There have been many days I drive home overwhelmed with how much I screwed up throughout the day or counting through my mind the number of mistakes I made and how I could have prevented them. I beat myself up for not studying enough, not practicing enough, maybe just not being enough. And this cycle has revealed how I so often relate to Christ. I find myself seeing my failures and how many things in my life I am not doing right. I lay awake at night counting the number of things I am doing wrong and need to change, wishing I could be a better believer, a better Christian.

You won't relent until You, have it all,

My heart is Yours

You won't relent until You, have it all,

My heart is Yours

I'll set You as a seal upon my heart

as a seal upon my arm

For there is love that is as strong as death

Jealousy, demanding as the grave

And many waters cannot quench this love

Come be the fire inside of me

Come be the flame upon my heart

Come be the fire inside of me

Until You and I are One

           Yet by his grace I am reminded that there is nothing I can ever do that will make him love me more. And there is nothing I can ever do that will make him love me less. He loves me relentlessly and he wants ALL of my heart. The good, the ugly, the weak, the hurt, the best, the joy, the pain. I`m thankful tonight for how all the little things in life show me how much he loves me. How he never stops chasing me and seeking another part of my heart I have kept from him. I am so undeserving.