Kumulu eko ine nkabila

This short poem encompasses everything the Lord revealed to me and taught me in Zambia. It includes scripture from Hosea, Lamentations, Joel, Amos, Obadiah, Jonah, Micah, Nahum, and Habakkuk. I named the peom "Kumulu eko ine nkabila" after a song we sung multiple times every day in the bush. The words mean "I am longing to be in heaven." To me that`s where God spoke to me. He revealed to me the state of depravity I was in, and how that forced me to long for heaven. And even after he restored me with healing, he gave me an even deeper longing for heaven.

Father God I have whored after idols of this world

To the point of losing you in desiring them

I endured the wilderness hiding in the cleft of a rock

I was deaf to your voice

I was blind to your word

Famined from being fed by you

Everyday I felt your discipline

Everyday I dug myself deeper

The songs I sung were meaningless

The offerings I gave were empty

I gave into satan more and more

As I trusted in only myself

I was longing for a Savior

You took my arm and healed me

Though I didn’t know it was you

You bent down and fed me

Though I didn’t know it was you

You knew me in the wilderness

In the land of drought

You provided for me everyday

Though I didn’t know it was you

You led every step of the way

Though I didn’t know it was you

You longed for me

You did all this, and still I didn’t return

I hear you say, “Yet even now, return to

me with all your heart, with fasting,

with weeping, and with mourning;

and rend your heart and not your garments

Return to me, for I am gracious and merciful,

slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love;

and I relent over disaster.”

So to you, Lord, I call

You promise to return me home to you

You promise to be my help

You promise to be my satisfaction

You promise to restore the years the locust ate

You promise to devour every stronghold

You promise if I seek you, I will live

I am returning, for you have torn me, so you

could heal me; you struck me down, and you will bind me up.

I will eat in plenty and be satisfied,
and praise the name of the Lord my God,
who has dealt wondrously with me.

You have satisfied me soul. And now I will praise your name!