I had already been pondering the concept of memories and memory making and then I came across this excerpt online:

             "In essence, reconsolidating is rooted in the fact that every time we recall a memory we also remake it, subtly tweaking the neuronal details. Although we like to think of our memories as being immutable impressions, somehow separate from the act of remembering them, they aren’t. A memory is only as real as the last time you remembered it. What’s disturbing, of course, is that we can’t help but borrow many of our memories from elsewhere, so that the ad we watched on television becomes our own, part of that personal narrative we repeat and retell.  This idea, simple as it seems, requires us to completely re-imagine our assumptions about memory.  

It reveals memory as a ceaseless process, not a repository of inert information. The recall is altered in the absence of the original stimulus, becoming less about what we actually remember and more about what we’d like to remember. It’s the difference between a “Save” and the “Save As” function. Our memories are a “Save As”: They are files that get rewritten every time we remember them, which is why the more we remember something, the less accurate the memory becomes… We steal our stories from everywhere. Marketers, it turns out, are just really good at giving us stories we want to steal. If this is how God has made the workings of our memories, then surely the final “Save As”, God’s last and lasting impression, the ending of humanity’s story (when we’re before and with God perfectly) will make that final re-write, that final save, perfect. The workings of our memories can be a pointer to the means of God’s final resolution."

            And how much better this excerpt explained my thoughts than I could have myself. Why do I have bad memories at all? Is it because they are truly bad, culturally bad, or personally bad? I believe Jesus can rewrite even the worst of memories. He is always making old things, new. And so I see in my life in the past 6 months this amazing time of memory remaking, or “Saving As” in my life. Where Jesus is going back to old things, past hurts and replacing them with new joys, with eternal truths. I believe I will spend the rest of my life making memories, and still replacing them. Where my selfishness and discontentment with myself and others makes me wander, where my heart is blind and my eyes are closed… Christ will come and renew those mistakes and those wrong turns. And as I choose again to look back in wonder, I won’t hate myself, the girl who made all the mistakes, broke all the hearts, failed time and time again. Instead I will see grace, through His hand squeezing mine through every step, through His arms catching every tear drop, through His whispers guiding every new direction.

            I am so thankful today, for you Lord, as you are saving all my new memories as you slowly erase the hurt and heartache of my past. I will never forget who I was and where I was without you, but now I will see that you were always there.

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